Perspectives And Coming Out Ahead

Yesterday I realized that I had been at Fordham for a month, which to most people would not mean much. But I only lasted a month at Dickinson before returning home. This goes to show how much a different perspective can make. When I went to Dickinson, I was full of anxiety, slightly depressed, and not confident enough in my own self to succeed. As a result, I ended up going home to figure some things out. Life did not make much sense to me and I wasn't sure where I was going to go from there. I always thought I would travel along the typical path of going to college after high school, getting a degree, and then getting a job. With this wrench thrown in my plans, I started to learn more about myself, especially in the past six/seven months. I grew in mind, spirit, and body, which has enabled me to get to where I am now. When I first came to Fordham for orientation, I was nervous. I did not want a repeat of what happened my first attempt at college. There were some nights in the beginning that were hard and I felt like I didn't know what to do. But little by little I started to make friends, get more involved, and now I feel like I am at home here. The change I have gone through in a year and a half amazes me because I never would have thought I could go from such a low point in my life to such a high. When I first got back home from Dickinson, I often laid in my bed thinking that there wasn't anywhere to go with my life. But now I know that it is possible to bounce back from anything. It is all up to you as an individual to make life worth living. Thank you to all my family and friends for sticking by me through the tough times and helping me out. Now I am ready to conquer any challenge ahead of me and am excited to see what is in store. So my friends, here's to life!

Free My Mind

I have taken the past couple of weeks to complete Marc and Angel's 50 Questions that will Free Your Mind. They live up to the title and made me think deep and hard about my life and opinions. I highly recommend that people try this exercise for fun to try to put onto paper some of your views.

Here are my answers:

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind

1)      How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

a)     I would be 18 years old because I am still struggling to figure myself out, I just started at a new college and I still know very little about the world.

2)     Which is worse, failing or never trying?

a)     Never trying is worse. There is always a lesson that can be learned.

3)     If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

a)     We do so many things that we don’t want to do because it is what society expects of us and sometimes it is the best way to learn. Even though we might not like something, it isn’t an excuse to not do it.

4)     When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

a)     So far in my life, I will have said more than I have done. But recently I have been trying to do more and I plan to continue to live this way the rest of my life.

5)     What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

a)     The thing that I would most like to change about the world is the availability of a good education for everyone, no matter race, gender, age, nationality, or anything.

6)     If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

a)     I would be rich if I could listen to music, play/coach soccer, and help people learn about anything and everything.

7)     Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

a)     I am trying to do what I believe in but sometimes I settle for the easy path.

8)    If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

a)     I would try to finish school earlier so I could have more time to travel and read which would give me better lessons than in school.

9)     To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

a)     I haven’t controlled much of the course of my life so far. I usually just let things happen and respond.

10) Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

a)     I am worried about doing the right things, but once I start something I worry a lot about doing it right more.

11)  You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?

a)     I would be upset and tell them the truth about my friend. People are entitled to their opinions but these opinions should have truth within them.

12) If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

a)     Learn as much as you can from everyone. Everybody is a teacher in some way and has something that can help you along in your life.

13) Would you break the law to save a loved one?

a)     There are definitely some laws that I would break in order to save a loved one.

14) Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

a)     Unfortunately I haven’t. From what I have heard, this can be incredible.

15)  What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

a)     Something I know I do differently than most people is that I try to explore all my enjoyments. I want to do everything that makes me feel good and I see a lot of people put things on the backburner because they aren’t “useful.”

16) How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

a)     Each person is different and has a brain that is wired uniquely. Just because I love soccer, my sister or anyone else can not like it.

17)  What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back?

a)     One thing I haven’t done that I really want to do is go to London and see Chelsea FC play a Premier League match at Stamford Bridge. I am being held back by the cost of the trip and the scheduling of school and the soccer season.

18) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

a)     I am holding on to the memories of high school that I should probably let go. It was a great time for me but it is holding me back now that I am in college.

19) If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

a)     I would move to London because it is a great city with lots to do and it is the home of Chelsea FC.

20)    Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

a)     Sometimes I do press the elevator button more than once. I am sure it doesn’t make the elevator faster but I do it in case the button wasn’t originally pushed all the way.

21) Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

a)     I would rather be a joyful simpleton so I could enjoy my life and all the wonders that surround me.

22)Why are you, you?

a)     I am me because of how I have grown up. My parents and religion have taught me about morality, I have explored different things to find my likes and dislikes, and the summation of all that I have learned makes me me.

23)Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

a)     Not always. A lot of times I sit waiting for people to text or call me with plans instead of making them myself and inviting others.

24)Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

a)     Losing touch with a good friend who live right near you because friendship can withstand physical distance but not emotional distance.

25) What are you most grateful for?

a)     I am most grateful for all the opportunities that I have had that have sculpted my personality into what it is today.

26)Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

a)     I think that I would rather never be able to make new memories because all my memories and past experiences have defined me as an individual and I would never want to lose that.

27) Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

a)     It is not possible to know the truth without challenging it first because it is too easy to accept something on blind faith and it is only through active discovery that the truth can be uncovered.

28)    Has your greatest fear ever come true?

a)     Luckily my greatest fear has not come true.

29)Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?

a)     No I don’t. I honestly cannot remember what I was extremely upset about five years ago. It feels like an eternity has passed since then. Thus it does not matter now.

30)    What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?

a)     My happiest childhood memory was making my middle school soccer team in seventh grade. I was so nervous because I had never made a team which I had to try out for and I was ecstatic when I was told I made it.

31) At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

a)     When Chelsea scored a tying goal against PSG when I went to see them live at Yankee Stadium, I felt more alive and passionate than ever. It was a dream come true and I sang/screamed my heart out like never before.

32)If not now, then when?

a)     Maybe when I have money to actually do all the things I want to do.

33)If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

a)     Time. Time is something we all have to lose because we cannot live forever.

34)Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

a)     Yes, when I’ve been given advice. It is those conversations that have helped me make some of the biggest decisions of my life.

35) Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

a)     People often misinterpret ideas that religions present and follow their ideologies to extremes where they cannot accept another person’s view.

36)Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

a)     Yes, for example genocide is without a doubt evil and music (in general) is without a doubt good.

37) If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

a)     I would not quit my job. The money would help but not be able to support me for the rest of my life.

38)    Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

a)     I would rather have more work that I enjoy doing because then it does not feel like I am working and time flies.

39)Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

a)     Not quite a hundred times, but life does get repetitious. I’ve just come to a new environment so it is still a bit different than what I am used to.

40)    When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

a)     Today when I posted a reply to someone on a website. I posted my belief which was different than most on the forum so I did not know what to expect, but I have faith in my conviction.

41) If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

a)     I would visit my family, my girlfriend, and my best friends.

42)Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

a)     I do not think that I could give up ten years of my life for fame or beauty. There are better things that could happen in those ten years that I would not want to miss out on.

43)What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

a)     Being alive is simply going through day to day without a larger picture in mind. Truly living is having experiences and striving for a larger canvas to paint your life’s story on.

44)When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

a)     At the time that everyone else is doing wrong, then it is the time to throw caution to the wind and do what you know is right.

45) If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

a)     Today’s society sees mistakes as bad. People are afraid to be wrong and be labeled as incorrect.

46)What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

a)     If I knew nobody would judge me, I would give up the desire to find a job and devote my life to learning.

47) When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

a)     This past weekend as I meditated after I had just woken up.

48)    What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

a)     I love my family, friends, girlfriend, and my God. I express my feelings to these people because they deserve to know.

49)In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?

a)     Unfortunately, probably not. I would love to have a memory of everyday of my life, but it isn’t feasible. It is best to remember the best things that happen to make life special.

50)Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

a)     I am making some decisions for myself. I listen to people and accept their guidance, but the final decision is up to me alone and nobody can tell me exactly what I should do.