20 Things I Have Learned At 20

Today I reached a milestone in my life: I have lived for two decades. It is my 20th birthday today and I have been blessed to have learned many things in my life from academics to living life. So I thought that I would write down 20 of the lessons that I think are extremely important.

1. Everything is connected in some way. Nothing happens isolated from everything else. It is important to look at more than one aspect to understand the whole picture.
2. Everything happens for a reason. Similar to the first idea, but this is more along the lines of experience. What happens to us in our lives gives us a lesson to learn, whether it is in triumph, defeat, sorrow, or joy. It all culminates in the creation of our individual characters.
3. Words are more powerful than any weapon. Once something has been said it cannot be taken back, which is one of the reasons words are so important. A lie can ruin a career and reputation and sometimes it can be irreversible. We must make sure we are careful when we choose which words to use in  a given situation. You never know what might be repeated or taken in a wrong way.
4. Never stop learning. From the time we are born we begin to learn. There is something that can be learned everyday from a random fact to a new life skill. Constant learning helps keep the mind sharp and who knows when that little piece of knowledge you forgot you had will come in handy.
5. Learn to go with the flow. Sometimes in life we have a certain plan, and when it goes out of whack we freak out. Instead you should just adapt to the situation. The ability to adapt is what has allowed us as a species to evolve to become who we  are today. Just because something does not go as expected, it does not mean it is a disaster.
6. It will all turn out all right. Back when I was depressed, I did not think any good could come out of it. But in the end I am happier than ever and excited to live. When a disaster hits, focusing on the negative will not bring about anything better. In the end everything will be ok.
7. Enjoy time spent alone. People seem to make a huge fuss about spending time with people and always being out. But they forget the wonderful feeling of solitude. It can be hard to think when surrounded by lots of people and being alone gives you the opportunity to do that and recharge your batteries.
8. Think for yourself. If you do not feel like doing something then do not do it. A good idea is not made good by a large number of people doing it. You may have a unique perspective that others do not realize and that can give you an edge in life.
9. Read books. Reading is one of my favorite hobbies and I have learned a lot from the various books I have read. You do not need a class assignment in order to pick up a good book.
10. Eat breakfast. Whenever I skip breakfast, my day is not the same. Breakfast starts your day off with a boost of energy and keeps you from getting too grumpy.
11. Exercise. Whether it be working out, playing a sport for fun, or just taking a walk it is important to exercise. Your body is the only one you have so it is critical that you take good care of it and that means getting a good amount of exercise every week.
12. Enjoy music. Each style of music has its time and place. No genre is better than another and all can be appreciated. Aldous Huxley once said "After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."
13. Do not sit on the sidelines. Life is meant to be lived, so don't stay at home watching TV or surfing the web. Go out and experience all of the wonderful things life has to offer. Go dancing, see a show, go to a concert. The the number of activities that you can do are endless.
14. Do things you think are fun. Who cares if it doesn't give you anything else. If you enjoy doing it, it is worth the time doing.
15. Keep your brain in shape. Similar to exercise, this is the only mind you have. Do puzzles, learn new words, a new language, anything to stimulate your noggin.
16. Don't just absorb, add. Give something to what you do, don't just take it all in. Participate in dialogues, paint, dance, sing, play. Get active in what you enjoy give back to what brings you joy.
17. Don't listen to what others say about you. What really matters is what you think of yourself. You know what kind of person you are and as long as you stay true to yourself then people will realize who the real you is.
18. Love is more important than anything. As long as love exists, terror and destruction will never prevail. Love is a bond that is stronger than anything else in the world and is one of the keys to happiness. Whether it is love of another person, what you do, or some idea, it is all that matters.
19. Mistakes are okay. Despite what school may tell you, it is okay to make mistakes. It is the best way to learn and it teaches us something new. You should not be penalized for making a mistake, it should be rewarded because it means you are doing something.
20. Be grateful for the little things. Being grateful is the best way to appreciate all the wonderful things you have in life. I try every night to think of at least five things I am thankful for and appreciate are part of my life. There are so many things that people take for granted, realize what you have and be grateful for it.

I've learned a lot in the course of my short life and I hope to learn even more. Here's to life my friends!

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That Time Again!

Hello everybody! It has been a while since I last posted and a lot has happened over the past couple of months. Now the semester is almost over and final papers and tests are coming up. It feels like I started going to classes a month ago and now they are almost finished. I've been in a rut for a while so (through the advice of others) decided to start back up with this blog and my personal development. Its time to put my nose to the grindstone and work hard to make myself better. I've started to work on my Day Zero Project again and trying to create better habits. Life is an adventure and we must take advantage of all the opportunities we have to experience it to the best of our abilities. So for all those who are about finish up with school,  good luck with all your finals and tests and papers. I know how annoying they can be and how tempting it can be to procrastinate, but it has to get done so just start doing it. And the feeling of being done with everything makes all the work worth the effort. Until next time, here's to life!

What To Do?

What should I do? This question is constantly on my mind nowadays. I often wish I could go back to the times where I just lived day by day, not caring about the future. Now that I am nearly halfway done with my undergraduate degree, I have to start trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. And I still have no solid idea. I fly from one possibility to the next, struggling to decide whether I should simply go for a passion regardless of how well it pays or if I should go for a well paying job that would allow me to pursue my interests in whatever free time I have and ensure I have comfortable life. I have looked at a lot of people and it seems that these two models create the best chances for overall happiness, which is what I am striving for. I want to know everything there is to know, see everything there is to see, have a life full of incredible experiences. But the question is how to do it. There is no time like the present to work hard each day to figure myself and my desires out. No matter what I choose to do, I must be sure to go in with my whole heart, giving my 110%. This is key for everybody in life. You will not be successful if you are not totally committed and you will not enjoy it as much. That is one lesson I have learned over my life and a key to happiness. So until next time, here's to life!

Perspectives And Coming Out Ahead

Yesterday I realized that I had been at Fordham for a month, which to most people would not mean much. But I only lasted a month at Dickinson before returning home. This goes to show how much a different perspective can make. When I went to Dickinson, I was full of anxiety, slightly depressed, and not confident enough in my own self to succeed. As a result, I ended up going home to figure some things out. Life did not make much sense to me and I wasn't sure where I was going to go from there. I always thought I would travel along the typical path of going to college after high school, getting a degree, and then getting a job. With this wrench thrown in my plans, I started to learn more about myself, especially in the past six/seven months. I grew in mind, spirit, and body, which has enabled me to get to where I am now. When I first came to Fordham for orientation, I was nervous. I did not want a repeat of what happened my first attempt at college. There were some nights in the beginning that were hard and I felt like I didn't know what to do. But little by little I started to make friends, get more involved, and now I feel like I am at home here. The change I have gone through in a year and a half amazes me because I never would have thought I could go from such a low point in my life to such a high. When I first got back home from Dickinson, I often laid in my bed thinking that there wasn't anywhere to go with my life. But now I know that it is possible to bounce back from anything. It is all up to you as an individual to make life worth living. Thank you to all my family and friends for sticking by me through the tough times and helping me out. Now I am ready to conquer any challenge ahead of me and am excited to see what is in store. So my friends, here's to life!

Free My Mind

I have taken the past couple of weeks to complete Marc and Angel's 50 Questions that will Free Your Mind. They live up to the title and made me think deep and hard about my life and opinions. I highly recommend that people try this exercise for fun to try to put onto paper some of your views.

Here are my answers:

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind

1)      How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

a)     I would be 18 years old because I am still struggling to figure myself out, I just started at a new college and I still know very little about the world.

2)     Which is worse, failing or never trying?

a)     Never trying is worse. There is always a lesson that can be learned.

3)     If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

a)     We do so many things that we don’t want to do because it is what society expects of us and sometimes it is the best way to learn. Even though we might not like something, it isn’t an excuse to not do it.

4)     When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

a)     So far in my life, I will have said more than I have done. But recently I have been trying to do more and I plan to continue to live this way the rest of my life.

5)     What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

a)     The thing that I would most like to change about the world is the availability of a good education for everyone, no matter race, gender, age, nationality, or anything.

6)     If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

a)     I would be rich if I could listen to music, play/coach soccer, and help people learn about anything and everything.

7)     Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

a)     I am trying to do what I believe in but sometimes I settle for the easy path.

8)    If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

a)     I would try to finish school earlier so I could have more time to travel and read which would give me better lessons than in school.

9)     To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

a)     I haven’t controlled much of the course of my life so far. I usually just let things happen and respond.

10) Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

a)     I am worried about doing the right things, but once I start something I worry a lot about doing it right more.

11)  You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?

a)     I would be upset and tell them the truth about my friend. People are entitled to their opinions but these opinions should have truth within them.

12) If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

a)     Learn as much as you can from everyone. Everybody is a teacher in some way and has something that can help you along in your life.

13) Would you break the law to save a loved one?

a)     There are definitely some laws that I would break in order to save a loved one.

14) Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

a)     Unfortunately I haven’t. From what I have heard, this can be incredible.

15)  What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

a)     Something I know I do differently than most people is that I try to explore all my enjoyments. I want to do everything that makes me feel good and I see a lot of people put things on the backburner because they aren’t “useful.”

16) How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

a)     Each person is different and has a brain that is wired uniquely. Just because I love soccer, my sister or anyone else can not like it.

17)  What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back?

a)     One thing I haven’t done that I really want to do is go to London and see Chelsea FC play a Premier League match at Stamford Bridge. I am being held back by the cost of the trip and the scheduling of school and the soccer season.

18) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

a)     I am holding on to the memories of high school that I should probably let go. It was a great time for me but it is holding me back now that I am in college.

19) If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

a)     I would move to London because it is a great city with lots to do and it is the home of Chelsea FC.

20)    Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

a)     Sometimes I do press the elevator button more than once. I am sure it doesn’t make the elevator faster but I do it in case the button wasn’t originally pushed all the way.

21) Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

a)     I would rather be a joyful simpleton so I could enjoy my life and all the wonders that surround me.

22)Why are you, you?

a)     I am me because of how I have grown up. My parents and religion have taught me about morality, I have explored different things to find my likes and dislikes, and the summation of all that I have learned makes me me.

23)Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

a)     Not always. A lot of times I sit waiting for people to text or call me with plans instead of making them myself and inviting others.

24)Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

a)     Losing touch with a good friend who live right near you because friendship can withstand physical distance but not emotional distance.

25) What are you most grateful for?

a)     I am most grateful for all the opportunities that I have had that have sculpted my personality into what it is today.

26)Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

a)     I think that I would rather never be able to make new memories because all my memories and past experiences have defined me as an individual and I would never want to lose that.

27) Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

a)     It is not possible to know the truth without challenging it first because it is too easy to accept something on blind faith and it is only through active discovery that the truth can be uncovered.

28)    Has your greatest fear ever come true?

a)     Luckily my greatest fear has not come true.

29)Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?

a)     No I don’t. I honestly cannot remember what I was extremely upset about five years ago. It feels like an eternity has passed since then. Thus it does not matter now.

30)    What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?

a)     My happiest childhood memory was making my middle school soccer team in seventh grade. I was so nervous because I had never made a team which I had to try out for and I was ecstatic when I was told I made it.

31) At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

a)     When Chelsea scored a tying goal against PSG when I went to see them live at Yankee Stadium, I felt more alive and passionate than ever. It was a dream come true and I sang/screamed my heart out like never before.

32)If not now, then when?

a)     Maybe when I have money to actually do all the things I want to do.

33)If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

a)     Time. Time is something we all have to lose because we cannot live forever.

34)Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

a)     Yes, when I’ve been given advice. It is those conversations that have helped me make some of the biggest decisions of my life.

35) Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

a)     People often misinterpret ideas that religions present and follow their ideologies to extremes where they cannot accept another person’s view.

36)Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

a)     Yes, for example genocide is without a doubt evil and music (in general) is without a doubt good.

37) If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

a)     I would not quit my job. The money would help but not be able to support me for the rest of my life.

38)    Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

a)     I would rather have more work that I enjoy doing because then it does not feel like I am working and time flies.

39)Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

a)     Not quite a hundred times, but life does get repetitious. I’ve just come to a new environment so it is still a bit different than what I am used to.

40)    When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

a)     Today when I posted a reply to someone on a website. I posted my belief which was different than most on the forum so I did not know what to expect, but I have faith in my conviction.

41) If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

a)     I would visit my family, my girlfriend, and my best friends.

42)Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

a)     I do not think that I could give up ten years of my life for fame or beauty. There are better things that could happen in those ten years that I would not want to miss out on.

43)What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

a)     Being alive is simply going through day to day without a larger picture in mind. Truly living is having experiences and striving for a larger canvas to paint your life’s story on.

44)When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

a)     At the time that everyone else is doing wrong, then it is the time to throw caution to the wind and do what you know is right.

45) If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

a)     Today’s society sees mistakes as bad. People are afraid to be wrong and be labeled as incorrect.

46)What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

a)     If I knew nobody would judge me, I would give up the desire to find a job and devote my life to learning.

47) When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

a)     This past weekend as I meditated after I had just woken up.

48)    What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

a)     I love my family, friends, girlfriend, and my God. I express my feelings to these people because they deserve to know.

49)In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?

a)     Unfortunately, probably not. I would love to have a memory of everyday of my life, but it isn’t feasible. It is best to remember the best things that happen to make life special.

50)Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

a)     I am making some decisions for myself. I listen to people and accept their guidance, but the final decision is up to me alone and nobody can tell me exactly what I should do.

The Next Step

I survived the first week! To people who are not necessarily that close to me won't understand why, but this is big step for me. I love my classes and I've managed to make some good friends, which I always thought might be difficult. I finished another book on my way to 100 in 1001 days. Titled, More With Less, it was about the state of humanitarianism and what needs to be done to prepare for disasters, both natural and man-made. There are many different ways that people can help and I think the important thing is to not only focus on the initial recovery stage and on the restoration and preparation stages which would alleviate the stress which would result from the disasters. Everyone needs to do their share in order to make the world a better place.

Chapter X

This is it. Today I moved into my dorm at Fordham where I will earn my Bachelors degree. In what, I'm not quite sure yet, but I plan to finish here. For a while it felt like nothing was happening, but over the past few days it has become increasingly real and now I am here. I do not know what this experience will have in store and I am excited to see what will happen. Since the last time I went away to college, my life has changed immensely. I feel more capable of rising above difficulties that may come up. I am excitedly nervous for what is going to happen. Here's to life my friends!